The Albino Whisker and the Passion of Volcanology

I have grown my first gray hair. It is on my face. I attribute the albino sprout to the unusually high number of classic hardships that I've had to overcome this year, and have respectively named the white whisker "Two-Thousand And Eight" for short, 2k8. The hair is camouflaged against the other whiskers on my face since my hair is so healthy it shines, however if you look closely and call it by its name, it may reveal itself.

I am a big thinker. When I say "big", I dont mean I think a lot - I'm very capable of doing stupid crap - by "big" I mean I cant help myself from putting everything i do into perspective of how it fits with the rest of the world. This is blessing and a curse. A blessing because I have the innate social ability to see events before they happen, and people for who they really are, which has come in handy many times. My mental state is a curse, however, because I have the innate social ability to see events before they happen, and people for who they really are, and for that reason it's often hard to find a good reason to leave my house. This issue of mine also has the affect of me questioning the long-term benefits of everything I do, to the point where I get very little pleasure out of accomplishing any task that was even remotely mundane. I have rarely have a clear concept of when objectives (personal or business related) begin and when they are complete. Yes, This makes me feel insane.

So how do I get my kicks? I'm still trying to figure this out. Don't get me wrong, I still enjoy the basic social things like going to bars with close friends, catching a movie, or playing music, but with my intellectual focus being constantly fixated on much bigger a picture than I would prefer, it's incredibly and increasingly difficult to focus on short-term issues like, oh, going to school or getting decent a job. Of course I recognize the importance of addressing these matters, but it's more difficult for me than it is for most people to actually get them done.

Knowing this, I have recently considered going to school to study issues related to the "bigger picture". Anthropology has recently caught my eye as being a field of interest, however I would have to engage myself in a faction of that study that stays far, far away from dull classrooms and the monotonous voices that so often reverberate through their halls. I suppose I require being on the front of discovery. I can appreciate the scientific method in all of it's traditional glory so long as the outcome is unique and cutting edge.

I, like so many people, struggle with the obvious desire of instant gratification. I want a good-paying job, I want my own place with a dog... etc, but in the rush to accomplish these goals there is a lot of opportunity that can be missed out on. When I was working at an insurance company my co-worker Tim always mentioned how dull his significantly paying job was, but that it afforded him some nice things. Of course at the time, I was envious of the paycheck I would personally deliver to his desk twice a month, but something he said to me one pay day never really sank in until recently. I walked out of his office after a brief verbal exchange of what probably sounded like the Thursday edition of the Monday blues, when he said, "You know, if I could do it all over again, I'd probably be a volcanologist".

"A whaa?" I replied.

"You know, like, one of those guys that goes into volcanoes and studies them...for science. I mean, who becomes a volcanologist, you know? Who grows up thinking, yeah, I'm gonna go into volcanoes."

"I guess a special kind of person... so, how long have you been aware of your passion volcanoes?"

"Well, I don't know... I mean... there are a lot of jobs like that out there, that are just.. unexpected, I guess. It would be cool to have been a part of something like that."

Tim was right. It would be cool to be a part of something like that. It would even be cool to devote a large part of your life to the science of why we exist, how we have survived so far, or what's going to happen when we are long gone. I think I'm finally beginning to realize my passion...